The third Friday in January (today) is the anniversary of my quitting smoking. Today is one year.

Big fucking whoop.

Honestly, I don’t feel any better – at least I don’t think I do. Probably because I put on 22 pound in the past year. Which is worse? Smoking or 20 extra pounds? (what if I was already packing about 15 or 20 too many to begin with?)

So yeah, I guess I need to spend this year dropping the weight I put on when I quit smoking. I plan to drop the weight by starting to smoke.

The thing with my weight is, I’ve always been fine until just recently. In 2005, I ballooned. I still don’t know why. As an adult, I always maintained a weight in a certain range, but that year it just took off. In 2006, I got on the scale one day and said, “Fuck This!” and I dropped 26 pounds in 6 months basically by reading how weight watchers worked and doing it on my own. I think I wanted to prove it was possible to do it yourself as much as I wanted to lose their weight.

Then in 2007, I let is slowly creep back upward. Then in 2008 I quit smoking and began eating.

Now I weigh more than I ever have in my life and to get back to the top end on my ‘range’ I need to lose right around 40 pounds. I’m currently 32 pounds heavier than my driver’s license (from 2006) shows. (even sicker is that I currently weigh 63 pounds more than I did when I was 18)

So yeah, I’m past being a smoker (although I still think it sucks that they’re being forced out of society) and am back to being a fat guy. Now I just need to get past being a fat guy and see what transpires from that. The problem is I’m not real motivated to do it this time.

I guess I just need to force myself to start and use the results as momentum to more results. We’ll see. No pressure.

Wow! How did my “Yay! I quit smoking!” post turn into a “Crap! I’m fat!” post?