Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.



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  • None of our bills irk me as much as Waste Management. I’ve bitched about it in the past – not just once, but twice. I guess it’s almost going to become a quarterly thing because every new bill brings me new levels of astonishment in the way they steadily and persistently…and brazenly…raise the cost.

    Here’s an updated history of our bills since moving into the house:

    May 2009 – 62.62
    Aug 2009 – 64.49
    Nov 2009 – 64.69
    Feb 2010 – 68.79
    May 2010 – 69.86
    Aug 2010 – 69.36
    Nov 2010 – 74.58
    Feb 2011 – 75.51
    May 2011 – 78.15

    In two years the price of garbage removal has gone up 25%. Unbelieveable.

    April 26th, 2011 - bitching - cheap-ass - home - life

    I like this for the perspective, but at the same time it’s kinda a ‘so what?’ sort of thing.

    I worked at a carpet store 15 or 20 years ago and the manager wanted to do something similar with the price-per-yard of common items like towels and ties and other fabric items to put it into perspective for customers who came in and wonked about the cost of carpet.

    April 11th, 2011 - cheap-ass - perspective

    We didn’t head out to Indiana Beach. Instead we waited until a little after 10pm and went shopping. We needed to pick up some essentials like milk and bread and shit like that and Meijer seemed like a good choice. It was a weird mix of people for a Thursday around 11pm.

    Anyway, our Meijer has a junk aisle. Well, I call it the junk aisle. It’s one aisle between the outdoor stuff and the toys that just has junk. It’s tons of outdated, oddball, damaged and discountinued items marked way down hoping to pawn the crap off on the masses. Some things you’ll find in the junk aisle include CO2 cartridges (whippets!), tons of blank VHS-C tapes, a damaged box of vaginal itch cream (the tube inside is intact though), random hair products of various ages and conditions, open box coffee makers, a set of cookware that is clearly a return because no one has bothered to remove all the wrapping paper from one side of the box where it was taped on – things like that.

    We always take a look in the junk aisle and tonight was no exception.

    Tonight I scored. There was a pile of children’s valentines boxes. Not a bunch, but more than a handful – maybe 20 or 25 boxes. A bunch of Pirates of the Carribean, a few High School Musical, even a Power Rangers or two in the mix. I was just sorting through them looking for a winner and I joked that we needed to buy a box and send valentines to everyone in July. Next thing I knew, I had found it. I had to buy them – the only ones in the whole bunch:

    Homies Valentines

    Homies Valentines

    Homies valentines! For 12 cents!! How could I not buy them? What the fuck are homies and who would buy this crap? Valentines featuring generic pseudo-urban characters? For 12 cents!? Sign me up.

    Now I’m not sure whether to keep them forever boxed – my 12 cent treasure or to send them to people. Because, face it, receiving a Homies valentine in mid-July would be pretty awesome.

    I have them sitting here on my desk staring at me. We’ll be up surfing the net tonight, just me and my homies.

    June 8th, 2008 - cheap-ass - random Tags: ,

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