Lord Gonchar

I wanted to do just a one-liner pertaining to this video, but there are so many possible plays that I can’t even begin to narrow it down. I can’t believe this is really for real…and current.

You know things are bad when you have to resort to marketing that is essentially damage control, but my overwhelming desire to see people look like asses makes this great. Good Job, Microsoft!

The Mojave Experiment

Just happened across the story about the $175 burger that will undoubtedly be passed along to you shortly via e-mail by someone amused or amazed or outraged by such things and noticed that one of the toppings on the burger is foie gras.

Immediately, the little light went on in my head – I know what that is!

Just two days ago Tyler passed along a story about 8 forbidden delicacies on his blog and foie gras was one of them.

I learned somthing and was able to turn around use it in a matter of days. God bless the internet – even my evolution is more efficient now.

This afternoon we decided to take care of some of the gazillion things that need done but no one seems to find the time. Jamie had to pick up a PC from the corporate office in Cincy, we needed to deposit some checks we’ve been sitting on for way too long, we needed to get our Kings Island passes, we needed haircuts, we had to take the PC to the hotel.

The plan was to get the PC, slide by Kings Island, hope to hit the bank before it closed, score haircuts, drop off the computer and get home.

We headed out at about 20-to-4 and had to get there before 5. Naturally, it started pouring rain about 10 minutes into the trip…then we hit the Cincy area rush hour traffic. Along the way we noticed a PNC branch relatively close to our destination. We figured we had a better chance of getting back to this one rather than going to Kings Island and then hitting the one we normally stop by on Tylersville Road.

At this point I had to piss like mad and just wanted to find a place to pee. Still getting to the bank in time was more important.

We made it to pick up the PC with 15 minutes to spare and began backtracking in the increasingly intense rain and equally thickening traffic. We pulled into the bank a hair after 5pm and I thought for sure they’d be closed. They were, but they helped us anyway. PNC is cool like that.

Still no pee, but at this point I figured I’d just wait until we get to the park.

From there we hit 71 north (a route I’ve taken maybe twice in my life and never to Kings Island) and I got stuck in a traffic pattern I couldn’t break free from and was forced off the interstate one exit too soon and it was the mother of all exits – backed up, people trying to shift lanes in all directions a big truck honking and trying to scoot over. I was jacked that I got caught up in the wrong lane and even more jacked that I hadn’t pissed yet. I spotted a Speedway and as the light off the exit turned green forced my way across three lanes and whipped into the gas station.

We get out of the HHR and are hit up by a FOX19 news lady and her cameraman wanting to talk about the fucked up exit/intersections. I sort of weaseled myself out of it and Jamie into it. They talked to her for like 45 seconds and we were off.

I finally got to pee (and scored a frozen Coke). We left to find them still outside interviewing people and laughed about having to watch the news on 19 this evening. We got back on 71 and were at Kings Island in a few minutes.

How quickly can one part with $600 – in a matter of seconds! That’s how fast.

Actually, the weekday evening pass purchase/processing thing they have going on is fabulous. It was no more than 10 minutes to part with our money and leave with passes in hand. Good stuff.

We made our way back to our neck of the woods and stopped by for a couple of haircuts and got in with no wait – nice. The chick doing my hair wouldn’t shut up though. I’m not a talker and I hate how no matter who I get, they always point out that this isn’t my real hair color. Yeah, I know it’s not, lady.

After that we dropped off the computer and I hooked it all up and booted it up and everyone rejoiced because the corn was saved. (part of that sentence is true and part is not – you decide)

By then it was going on 8 and there was no way in hell any of us were cooking so we stopped by Olive Garden. The place gets a bad rap sometimes I think, but I dig their Mixed Grill and tonight was no exception.

We got home and watched the stoner dude (who I hated until last night) get booted from American Idol.

After that I flipped to the FOX 19 news. What’s their lead story? The fucked up intersection. They used two clips of Jamie. I was dying – too funny. We’ve never been at that intersection in our lives and probably never will again and she’s on TV going, “This intersections sucks. We almost got taken out by a truck. They need to do something about it.”

Then we watched a little of an Eddie Izzard DVD (getting psyched for Friday’s show) and I played Mario Kart for a while…and now I’m typing this.

I should probably go to bed.