I like that we do things (some consciously, some not) that buck conventional tradition.

If I were to be completely honest, I take secret pleasure in the fact that our tendency as a family to not do things the ‘normal’ way wigs out my mother in law. She’s very much a “you do things because that’s what people do” kind of person and that bugs me. I truly think she’s never taken the time in her life to stop and consider anything on more than a superficial level. It seems most of what she does, believes and lives is based on the idea of “that’s what you do” – and that’s always annoyed me.

So when she calls my wife and asks if we have pork cooking on the 1st, I smile on the inside when my wife explains that we’re doing sushi and the muffled Charlie Brown trumpet voice on the other end of the phone that you can barely make out seems just a little deflated at the notion that someone might actually not do what everyone else does.

I don’t see the problem, it’s edible. I mean, I really only like the white meat when it comes to poutry, but I’m not going to try to gross you out into agreeing with me and not eating dark meat. So who cares if it’s the ‘left over bits’ of the bird? I got two words for you, Jamie Oliver – Andrew Zimmern.

The wife had to work, so we decided to be a little unorthodox this year. We figured we’d give the kids Easter baskets (and the over-gifting gifts we’ve become guilty of) in the afternoon. This was interesting because my son is alarmingly late in figuring out the fantasy characters of our youth (Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus) are not real. I don’t want to have to physically say, “Look…” so between today’s weirdness and a few well placed comments I think the light bulb is starting to click…a little…maybe.

Speaking of being unorthodox and bucking tradition, this year we’ve made a semi-conscious effort to do untraditional meals on traditional meal days. Most people do pork on New Year’s. This year we did Sushi. Easter dinner usually means ham. Today we did rack of lamb. Turned out fucking terrific. We did garlic and rosemary frenched rack of lamb and I fucking crushed it. Seared them perfectly. We also tried two other new-to-us recipes and paired that lamb with French Onions (I’m becoming a worcestershire sauce fiend) and simple scalloped potatoes that may have been among the best potatoes we’ve ever made…hell, among the best we’ve ever had. Some simple green bean casserole and garlic/cheese rolls rounded out things. We also took the 20-some odd egges we colored and turned them into 4 different flavors of deviled eggs. Who knew you could get so creative with a simple deviled egg? Awesome fucking dinner.

We overgifted the kids again considering it was Easter. We always do. My son scored a basketball hoop and new ball and some lego shit. My daughter got a new phone and a bunch of jewelry and accessories.

On the plus side, we now look like every douchey house on every douchey cul-de-sac with a douchey hoop in the douchey driveway standing there all douchily.

Now that I talked about them, I think I want some of those deviled eggs…

If they really wanted the added color/flavor, then why not grape? Actually that sounds good. Switch green back to lime and make the blue a purply grape and we’re back in business.

So today my wife runs to grab milk and decides to snag some candy. She got me a threater-sized box of Runts. Not sure how long it’s been since I last had Runts. Probably not all the way back to that last Runts post, but maybe. Who knows? It’s been a while.

I pour some into my hand and immediately spot a big purple oblong oval one. I was pretty sure it wasn’t eggplant, but they’ve made some questionable flavor decisions in the past. I look at the front of the box and right there is a cartoon bunch of grapes. Holy shit! Grape!

They finally had it right…or so I thought. Upon further eating/inspection I figured out that the green ones are no longer lime (or even crappy watermelon), but rather apple flavored. Sigh. Always has to be a weak link.

Let’s get green back to lime and I’ll be ok. I’d rather see a cherry than a strawberry too (or just bring cherry back and go to the 90′s 6-flavor setup), but strawberry is acceptable if all the other flavors are in place.

Wikipedia claims the flavor setup I have is the Chewy Runts lineup.

Still waiting for Banana, Orange, Cherry, Lime, Grape. (and Strawberry if we’re going with 6)

The have a ‘home’ section full of decor and furniture.

I’m not sure how I feel about buying a couch at the grocery store.

There’s also a jewelry store so you can pick up a loaf of bread and that engagement ring you’ve been wanting to give her. (there’s a joke there about carrots and carats, but I’m not making it)

I dunno, the list of store services is even funny-long to me.

Whatever. The dude making fresh sushi was enough to win me over.

Just like bacon, chili is pretty damn good in its own right, but really shines when slapped on top of other foods to make them even better.

I’ve been in a holding pattern for about 2 months now.

I peaked at 34 pounds lost (X+25) the day before we went on our big coaster trip in June. During that entire trip I ate what I wanted and never weighed myself. When we got back I was only up 2 pounds. We kinda kept our eyes on the prize but had a lot going on (which for us, makes it harder to eat right) and a few instances of getting together with family (which usually means food).

As of today my mother-in-law is gone and school starts next week. Perfect time to come back down and get focused again. I’m currently sitting at 30 pounds lost (X+29). Not all that awful if you knew how little I put into my eating habits the past two months. A hopeful sign that the change is sticking.

The other effect that I’m not happy with is that while not gaining weight, I have gained back a little size from that low point. Nothing major, but it shows the difference between eating whatever and maintaining and eating right and maintaining. I think at the peak I was right around 7 inches off my waist and right now it’s just shy of 6.

So yeah, if you remember, the short term goal was my Allentown weight (X+27). I had passed that prior to vacation and in my current range of natural fluctuations I’m still right about there on the low end. So I’m right there.

The long term goal was my 90′s weight (X+17), give or take one or two pounds in either direction. So that’s where I need to set my sights and get this train back on track. That’s only 10-to-15 pounds away. I’m already down 32. What’s another dozen? I’d like to be there before the holidays really hit. Halloween would be nice, but Thanksgiving works to. Somewhere in there. Totally possible if I start actively pursuing it again.

Check back with me in a few months.

I never really had any issue with my weight until very recently – as in the past 5 years…and even then, well…

When I graduated back in 1991 I was on the lower end of things for my height. Not underweight, but if you buy into the BMI thing, it was on the low/mid end. My graduation weight was X. That’s the baseline. For the record, I have no desire to ever weigh X again. I don’t think I need to.

I generally held that weight for a few years until it started creeping up towards the mid 90′s. When I wrestled (1996/1997) I was up to X+14 pounds give or take. It was a good weight for me. I think I looked best right around there even if it put me right at the edge of what a ‘healthy’ BMI is.

I kept at that weight until we moved to Florida (1999) and I settled a little and let the pounds slowly creep on. By the time we left Florida and went to Allentown (2002) I had put on another 13. At this point I was X+27. This is the first time I noticed my weight in a really negative way, but I still didn’t do anything. During our time in Allentown I put on roughly another 10.

When we moved back to Western PA (2004) I was now at X+37. We hit what I call a “comfortable phase” there where things got pretty cozy in life. We were doing well and I got a bit lazy and indulgent. By spring 2006 I had tacked on another 16 pounds. It was at this point (X+53) that I made a conscious effort to change things.

I got motivated, changed some habits and had dropped 12 pounds by BeastBuzz 2006 in June. I kept it up through the summer and by fall 2006 was down another 10. At this point I was at X+31. Pretty close to my Allentown weight. The holidays hit and I slacked and never really kept up after that. Over the course of 2007 I put about 10 back on. (X+41)

Then we decided to quit smoking in January 2008. At that point I was weighing X+41.

Needless to say, stopping smoking turned into starting eating. Couple that with another “comfortable phase” and it was the perfect storm. I was even heavier than the first peak. I put on almost 25 pounds in a little over a year. By winter 2009 I was X+63. Right!? 63 pounds heavier at the end of my second 18 years than I was at the end of my first 18.

I hovered around that weight (give or take a few pounds) for all of 2009. In fact, I think I’m right around X+60 in this video.

So after a year of generally feeling like shit, I finally said, “Time to do it right” and on February 22, 2010 I started making the effort again. On that day I weighed X+59. My first goal was to lose the smoking weight.

As of yesterday, I’ve lost 20 pounds and currently sit at X+39 – my pre-quitting weight. I’ve dropped 4 1/2 inches from my waist in that time.

My next goal to shoot for is another dozen pounds which would put me at my Allentown weight from almost a decade ago. That would be X+27 and would be a couple of pounds lower than when I lost the weight the first time in 2006. (it was actually my goal back then, but I missed it by a few before I slipped)

Assuming I keep motivated, my ultimate goal is to drop another 10 or 12 after that and close in on that wrestling weight from the mid/late 90′s. I’d be prefectly content with something in the X+17 range give or take a few pounds. I see no reason to go lower than that. Who knows, ask me again if/when I get there.

So yeah, I’m feeling pretty good about heading in the right direction again.

And as for the more hair thing – It’s been almost 6 months since I’ve had a haircut. Not really sure where that’s headed, but…

If you’re curious, go back to that video and subtract 20 pounds and add 6 months of hair growth and that’s what I look like now…

…like a thinner, hairier cock.