Fuck you Nashville Symphony. Next time I’m going to pee into your fountains.

Well done, sir.

Her hands make the vagina and she’s wearing a pearl necklace to boot.

So to start thinking Xmas and maybe start scoping trees we decided to go check out our local Christmas Tree Shoppe. We knew a little about it and had been wanting to check the place out for a while. Well, our mistake for not looking into it more, but it’s probably the worst place in the world. I expected a cute little seasonal holiday-type place. It’s actually essentially a Big Lots with 1/4 of the store filled with seasonal holiday items of the Big Lots quality you’d expect. It fucking sucked. If it burned to the ground tomorrow, I’d chuckle with approval. I actually wished I were in a Big Lots. (for the record, Big Lots is one of my least favorite places on Earth)

Just a big fucking waste of time.

We noticed there was a Burlington Coat Factory in the plaza. We hadn’t been to one in ages, but we used to find pretty great deals at the one in Allentown when we lived there.

Mistake #2.

It smelled…mostly like sad. And there was absolutely nothing worth seeing there…except (and I swear we found these there) for the boys mustard yellow courduroy pants straight off the kids in early-70′s Sesame Street episodes. I had flashbacks.

We quickly slipped out of there and beelined to the other location we planned on hitting – Hobby Lobby. I don’t think I’d ever stepped foot in one prior to this. We saw an ad that said they had a buttload of trees in all shapes and sizes at great prices. It may have been a bit of an oversell. They had one 12-footer, but it didn’t look very real and was a bit bare…and even with the 50% off sale on all Christmas decorations, still came in at a price closer to four digits than two. Meh.

What a waste of a couple of Friday hours.

On Satuday, we had football equipment turn-ins in the morning, then my son and I decided to drive across town to see one of the semi-final tournament games. Looked to be possibly the best game of the entire tournament at the 4th grade level. One team was a sleeper that went undefeated and gave up just one touchdown in the 8-game season and only two TD’s in three tournament games. No one ever put up more than 6 against them. They were playing the team that has been a thorn in our side not just once, but twice in the past. They’re consistently good and passed us in the final week of the season for the highest scoring team in the 4th grade.

On paper it was the unstoppable force against the immovable object.

It didn’t play out that way. The sleeper team gave up 28 points. In one game they gave up more TD’s than they had total in the 11 games prior. We still had fun. Might go to the championship game at UD next weekend.

It was also my daughter’s birthday. I have a 14 year old. Her party was last weekend, so she got to spend the day alone while my wife was at work and my son and I were at the game. She got a cake from Ritters. She wanted a Mud Pie cake. Too chocolatey for me. A weird little quirk of mine is that I’m not fond of chocolate ice cream. Even worse, chocolate ice cream with more chocolate shit mixed in…and then topped with more chcocolate. Not my thing. But Ritters is awesome. It took us a while to discover them (we’re DQ people for childhood), but we haven’t been to DQ in ages. (for the record my very favorite ice cream is Whitehouse)

Tomorrow? Little stuff around the house and a Steelers game tomorrow night. Normally we rake/blow leaves the first weekend in November, but all the leaves haven’t fallen yet. Trees are still surprisingly full for this late in the year. Maybe next weekend.

I’m livin’ it.

We’re busy right now with the annual halloween/birthday party for my daughter. My son usually has a friend over too and they run around the yard and the woods trying to scare the older kids. Last year was a ‘generic’ halloween theme – standard scary stuff – titled “Lucky 13″ for her 13th Birthday. This year it’s a research lab accident/mad scientist/shit has gone bad theme. We did invitations that we’re all official sounding – as if you we’re privvy to inside info. Very subtlely at the bottom in small font we put: www.researchfacility14.com password:number14

The kids seem to dig it. We’re in the process of setting the garage and deck up and getting it all into theme. Hopefully, I get some photos or video or something. The bad news is that the Camaro doesn’t get to sleep in the garage for the next 4 nights.

I’m also semi-simultaneously working on this year’s DVD set for the football team. Last year’s was such a hit that I think I’ve become the guy who does this for the team. Recording the games is cool and I know the coaches use it as a tool, so I’m contributing in my own special way. The parents and boys love the DVD’s. The entire season’s games are on there along with highlights, music videos and more candid stuff. It’s my job to make 10 year old boys look like rock stars. Amazing how some decent football plays edited in sync to some pump-up music can achieve this to great effect. I have less than three weeks to deliever a finished product to everyone at the end-of-season party. The weird thing is that I actually feel some pressure to up the ante, so to speak. You kinda have to outdo the last one, right?

Then it’s Thanksgiving…and holiday shopping and X-mas and New Year’s and stuff.

It’s really an interesting journey. We’re going into it with heat advisories and by the time we pop out the other side (and, man, does it go fast) it’ll be the Halloween/Thanksgiving season.

Basically, that means a decent chunk of the blog will now become about 4th graders playing football.

I am a little torn that I have to start thinking football while enjoying Pirates baseball so much.

UPDATED – Here’s where I stood last year at this time. I think that’s when I started tagged posts with ‘football’ – there’s older football talk, but I don’t think I was tagging it as such.

I’ve worn a Pirate cap since I was a kid. This spring I bought myself a Pirates shirt for my birthday that I’ve been slumming around in all summer. I’m convinced my shirt is what made the difference.

I’m a bigger football fan than a baseball fan, but there’s something about a summer evening at the ballpark that I dare say is just as good (if not better) than winter at the stadium. I’ve always enjoyed following the long baseball season. We lived in Pittsburgh for 2 or 3 of the past 12 years (most 2004 and 2005) and we got to quite a few games during that time. PNC Park is so nice. I don’t get to see many Pittsburgh games and quite frankly I don’t always have the patience to sit through games on TV. Sometimes the mood strikes. I eagerly watched them face the Cubs on WGN just before the break. I’ve been mostly living vicariously through the MLB app on my phone. I check it several times every evening and proudly proclaim to my wife how many games out of 1st we are or what combination of wins and losses would put us in what position.

In a weird sort of way it’s more fun to be a Pirates fan than a Steelers fan. It’s easy to be a Steelers fan. They’re badass. You’re a Pirates fan because you want to be. I’ve been wearing those Pirates caps around the whole time. My current one is a few years old and pretty dirty. Might be time to score a new one. Then again, maybe not. Don’t want to look like a fair weather fan.

I dunno. Just some thoughts. Something romantic about summer and baseball and finally winning a few – especially when no one expected it.

Fucking Pirates, man!

It’s not full-blown clown purple. Not really. She has a hairstyle where it’s not symmetrical and the one side has the long bang chunk. We bleached that chunk, but left the rest natural. The we went over the whole thing with purple. I can’t wait to see it in the sun. The bang piece is purple. Just fucking purple. The rest looks normal until you stick her under a bright light and then there’s a purple hue about it.

It looks pretty neat.

I almost dyed my beard purple for fun too.

Let me try to sum up our feelings – we were disappointed and enoyed it at the same time. That’s the parental view. My daughter couldn’t have cared less either way. My son had a pretty good time.

It felt a little too much like we paid $20 a ticket to play with someone else’s Lego collection. I think I expected less “here you go, have at it” and more “look at this, here’s how this works, try this” from things. It seemed like too many of the areas were just “build something here” stations presented in different ways. For instance:

- There were Monochromatic Group Build areas. A neat idea. Tons of 2×4 bricks in one color for you to get creative on – by yourself and with others. Particularly notable creations got placed on pedastals and dispalyed for the duration of the session. Neat enough. Except that there were four of these areas (one pink, one green, one blue and one yellow). On top of that there was a Target-sponsored area that was essentially the same thing with red bricks and the added twist that you were designing a structure for the Target dog (whatever its name is – spot?). So five of the activity areas were building something with one color and one size of brick.

- There were a couple of different areas that were essentially the same ‘free-build’ areas presented under different pemises. Creation Nation took your creation and placed in on a large, blank floor map of the USA, creating a sort of skyline from the things the kids built. The Lego Construction Zone was the same thing, expect instead of a on a map, your creation was placed in one of several glass display cases where it stayed until more room was needed. The Big Brick Pile was just a big-ass pile of legos that kids were climbing on and throwing at each other. A neat idea on paper, but just a bunch of Lego bricks to dick around with in reality. Two large areas were also taken up by Duplo Build Areas where younger kids could fuck around with the oversized baby version of Lego bricks. The Mystery Mural Build let you take a small, numbered tile place colored 1×1′s in a predetermined patter on it and then place it on a big lego wall that, when finished, created a 2D mural of a city skyline with a nod or two to Pittsburgh tossed in. The Race Ramps was more of the same but with wheel pieces. There were some small ramps set up so you could race with friends or family or whatever, but nothing organized. Mostly kids whipping he cars down the ramp to crash and break them.

- The Model Museum and Brickscapes were essentially the same thing – cool Lego creations you could look at and take photos of. The Brickscapes were in glass display cases and often little “Eye Spy” things you could try to find. The Model Museum was just a small collection of those bigger statue-like creations…and even then, it turns out those are hollow with steel skeltons. They also has an “Adult Fans Of Lego” area where bonafide grown-ups were showing off creations. Simultaneously interesting and horrifying.

- Lego Games was exactly what it sounds like – sign up and wait 10 or 15 minutes to play one of the Lego games they sell. Lego Universe? Same thing. Wait in line for 20 minutes and sample the Lego Universe online game. The Video Game Gallery consisted of two (yes two!) kiosks. One had Lego Rock Band 2 set up to try (one game) and the other had three DS units attached running the Ninjago DS game. That’s right. A total of four kids at any given time could be checking out the video games.

- The Lego Retail Store and the Lego Marketplace were exactly what they sound like – chances to spend money. The catch was that the Marketplace had next to nothing beyond what looked like a small collection of the least popular licensed Lego items – watches, bracelets, shirts in odd sizes and a Bissel Brick Sweeper thing. Looked like a non-powered push vaccum to me. The Retail Store had nothing you couldn’t find in any Wal-Mart, Target or Toys R Us…and it had a 20-to-30 minute line the entire time. People were waiting a half hour to buy Lego sets that they can get anywhere.

- There were also some areas with local groups trying to sell you something – Boy Scouts, Radio Stations, Schools, the Pirates, whatever. There were raffles and Legoland info with a Legoland trip giveaway too.

- The best parts (and what I expected more of) were the areas with actual Lego builders interacting with the kids. The Master Builder Academy was a chance to get hands-on with the MBA product (yes, a sell, but…) and have a Master Builder there to answer questions and help out and stuff. The catch was that there was a limited number of classes. We got in line to sign up within 10 minutes of entering, waited 15 minutes and got one of the last spots of the day. The Activity Area also has a Master Builder on hand with various group activities and games going on. It felt a little unstructured, but was fun. There were also supposed to be Master Builders there with live Demonstrations, but we either missed them or they weren’t very prominent (I suspect the latter).

And that was it. The place really started clearing out about halfway through. We left about 45 minute or an hour early and felt like we were stretching to make it that long. As I said, I expected less “here you go, have at it” and more “look at this, here’s how this works, try this” – the Builders are fucking Rock Stars to these kids. There should have been more opportunity to see, hear and talk to them and less piles of Legos lying around for you to dick with presented as something more than Legos lying there to dick with. Set up little clinic areas. Set up a small stage and chairs and let these guys talk to groups all day. Let them give tips, answer questions and get the kids excited about the product and the possibilities. That’s where this thing really missed the boat to us.

With all of that said, I’d still give the experience a positive review. Definitely go and check it out. The price is right and you can blow a few hours surrounded by all things Lego. On the same note, I wouldn’t go again unless I knew there were major changes made. There’d really be no reason to.

Not sure how it’s possible to think of something positively, but also be able to say it was disappointing. Somehow Lego pulled it off.

We’re SO happy with the choices we made with this one. Black on Black is just stunning on the shape of the car. We questioned the little bit extra we spent for interior upgrades and bells and whistles, but once you’re in the car it’s not even a question of good choice/bad choice – it’s obviously worth every penny. USB, Bluetooth with voice commands, XM radio, OnStar, the Heads Up Display on the windshield, the gauges by the shifter that glow red, rear parking assist, built-in universal remote, ambient lighting on the door panels, soft leather – it’s all good. It’s amazing how these cars get more and more technology in them each year. The exterior upgrades are what make the Camaro special and we never questioned those. After getting the car, I don’t understand how anyone goes with the base model without an exterior package – the halo headlights are what give the car personality. Regular headlights would be stupid. The spoiler is a must and subtle enough to add style but not be obvious. The upgraded wheels make it intimidating. We’re rolling on 20′s. The back tires are 9 inches wide. It gives the car such an agressive stance. Even the upgraded tail lights just ‘finish’ the overall look.

It’s really the perfect ‘fun’ car. The look and performance satisfies the kid in me who grew up in rural western PA, the interior appointments scream luxury car and the gadgets and toys satisfy the easily amused tech geek hiding inside of me. Win/win/win as far as I’m concerned.