February 19th, 2010 @ 2:29 pm - No Comments
I’m married, so I don’t need the pick-up line, but I wonder if it’d get me laid:
“The weatherman isn’t calling for snow, but I see 6 inches coming your way tonight.”
(for the record, I picked “six” for the cadence of the sentence, a two syllable “seven” doesn’t flow as correctly and “eight” just sounds like drunken bragging – better to underpromise and overdeliver)
February 14th, 2010 @ 2:01 pm - No Comments
I was eating a bowl of soup and I got caught between a swallow and a sneeze. I almost choked to death and soup came out of my nose at intergalactic speed.
Ok. That didn’t really happen, but I did just eat a bowl of soup and considered the swallow/sneeze scenario while doing so. Close enough, right?
February 8th, 2010 @ 5:33 pm - 1 Comment
Come on! That title is every bit as witty as “Every Kiss Begins With Kay”
This commercial kills me on so many levels:
(link)
Puh-leeeze! If you’re smooth enough to just happen to have planned to give your lady jewelry in a cabin during a storm and were aware enough to have it in hand knowing your woman is a scared little bitch who jumps and whimpers at the sight of lightning and also have the presence of mind to deliver the line “I’m here and I always will be” while handing over said jewelry to aforementioned scared bitch then you’re a better man than I.
Fuck that commercial. Is there anyone…anyone…out there who watches that and feels warm and fuzzy instead of annoyed and maybe a little homicidal? And if so, what the fuck is wired wrong inside of you? The commercial is the height of absurdity.
Arrrrgh!
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