When I was a kid, I lived in the same house from a few months before my 4th birthday until I moved in December of the year I turned 18. That was 20 years ago this month. I lived in that house for 179 months – just shy of 15 full years.

In the 20 years since I moved out of my parents house I’ve moved 17 times if you count the short stays at hotels when we’d make big moves. If you ignore those month-long stays and just count it as part of the moving experience then I’ve moved 13 times. Of those moves two were short stints back to the parents for a total of 3 months. Those moves take place over 6 different cities/areas.

We bought this house three years ago and as of this month, it’s the longest I’ve lived at one address since leaving home as a kid. In April, the Dayton area will serve as the area I’ve spent the most time since then.

I guess for us this area has slowly become home. Both my wife and I were born and raised in western PA. Different areas, but still western PA. My daughter still identifies with western PA to a small degree. She was born there, although I doubt she remembers it as we moved when she was about a year and a half old. But we returned in 2003 and stayed until we headed out here in 2006. She’s 14 now, but she was 8 when we moved here. She was a third grader starting at her third school in 4 years. My son however, pretty much knows this area as home. He was born in Jacksonville, FL. We left there before he was two months old. When we came to Dayton he was just 4. He’s 10 now. It’s all he knows. The only school he’s ever gone to is the one he’s at now.

It probably seems crazy to move around that much, but I don’t think it was bad. It’s easy to get complacent and jumping around as much as we did for so long kept it exciting. We generally followed the opportunity first and foremost. Now that the kids are older, the focus has shifted more towards stability. When you’re the ages of my kids, moving would suck balls. However, I do think all the moving when they’re younger is good. They see a lot of things, meet a lot of different people – generally learn to be adaptable.

We don’t really have a hard, concrete plan looking ahead. The general goal is to try to stay here until the kids are adults…which means 8 more years for the youngest to hit 18. Realistically 9 for him to finish school. After that, who knows? Suddenly, we’re not quite as tied down any more. Possibilities are endless…except for Florida. Florida is the worst. We’ve gone twice and couldn’t wait to escape both times.

At any rate, it’s weird to think I’ve spent more time in this house than anywhere else I’ve lived since that house I spent my childhood in. Even if we do stay here another 9, that puts us up to 12. I wonder if I’ll ever live at one address as long as I lived with my family in that house as a kid?

The final cost to us (after insurance pays their piddly portion) would have bought us about three or four weeks of amusement park travel (based on past trip costs).

The funny thing is that we still haven’t gone to a single park this year and no one seems to miss it. Short, much needed break or larger trend coming into focus?

We’ve traveled pretty extensively to visit amusement parks for the past 10 years and I’m trying to remember the last summer we didn’t visit at least one amusement park (long before coasterimage) and I think that year would be 1992. Starting in 1993 we made yearly visits to Kennywood and/or Cedar Point. Might have skipped a year around 1997 or 1998, not really sure. The point is it’s been a long time (before kids) since we didn’t visit at least one park during the year. Not sure if I’m relieved or scared that we might not this year.

But, yeah – my daughter is getting braces put on next month.

Let me try to sum up our feelings – we were disappointed and enoyed it at the same time. That’s the parental view. My daughter couldn’t have cared less either way. My son had a pretty good time.

It felt a little too much like we paid $20 a ticket to play with someone else’s Lego collection. I think I expected less “here you go, have at it” and more “look at this, here’s how this works, try this” from things. It seemed like too many of the areas were just “build something here” stations presented in different ways. For instance:

- There were Monochromatic Group Build areas. A neat idea. Tons of 2×4 bricks in one color for you to get creative on – by yourself and with others. Particularly notable creations got placed on pedastals and dispalyed for the duration of the session. Neat enough. Except that there were four of these areas (one pink, one green, one blue and one yellow). On top of that there was a Target-sponsored area that was essentially the same thing with red bricks and the added twist that you were designing a structure for the Target dog (whatever its name is – spot?). So five of the activity areas were building something with one color and one size of brick.

- There were a couple of different areas that were essentially the same ‘free-build’ areas presented under different pemises. Creation Nation took your creation and placed in on a large, blank floor map of the USA, creating a sort of skyline from the things the kids built. The Lego Construction Zone was the same thing, expect instead of a on a map, your creation was placed in one of several glass display cases where it stayed until more room was needed. The Big Brick Pile was just a big-ass pile of legos that kids were climbing on and throwing at each other. A neat idea on paper, but just a bunch of Lego bricks to dick around with in reality. Two large areas were also taken up by Duplo Build Areas where younger kids could fuck around with the oversized baby version of Lego bricks. The Mystery Mural Build let you take a small, numbered tile place colored 1×1′s in a predetermined patter on it and then place it on a big lego wall that, when finished, created a 2D mural of a city skyline with a nod or two to Pittsburgh tossed in. The Race Ramps was more of the same but with wheel pieces. There were some small ramps set up so you could race with friends or family or whatever, but nothing organized. Mostly kids whipping he cars down the ramp to crash and break them.

- The Model Museum and Brickscapes were essentially the same thing – cool Lego creations you could look at and take photos of. The Brickscapes were in glass display cases and often little “Eye Spy” things you could try to find. The Model Museum was just a small collection of those bigger statue-like creations…and even then, it turns out those are hollow with steel skeltons. They also has an “Adult Fans Of Lego” area where bonafide grown-ups were showing off creations. Simultaneously interesting and horrifying.

- Lego Games was exactly what it sounds like – sign up and wait 10 or 15 minutes to play one of the Lego games they sell. Lego Universe? Same thing. Wait in line for 20 minutes and sample the Lego Universe online game. The Video Game Gallery consisted of two (yes two!) kiosks. One had Lego Rock Band 2 set up to try (one game) and the other had three DS units attached running the Ninjago DS game. That’s right. A total of four kids at any given time could be checking out the video games.

- The Lego Retail Store and the Lego Marketplace were exactly what they sound like – chances to spend money. The catch was that the Marketplace had next to nothing beyond what looked like a small collection of the least popular licensed Lego items – watches, bracelets, shirts in odd sizes and a Bissel Brick Sweeper thing. Looked like a non-powered push vaccum to me. The Retail Store had nothing you couldn’t find in any Wal-Mart, Target or Toys R Us…and it had a 20-to-30 minute line the entire time. People were waiting a half hour to buy Lego sets that they can get anywhere.

- There were also some areas with local groups trying to sell you something – Boy Scouts, Radio Stations, Schools, the Pirates, whatever. There were raffles and Legoland info with a Legoland trip giveaway too.

- The best parts (and what I expected more of) were the areas with actual Lego builders interacting with the kids. The Master Builder Academy was a chance to get hands-on with the MBA product (yes, a sell, but…) and have a Master Builder there to answer questions and help out and stuff. The catch was that there was a limited number of classes. We got in line to sign up within 10 minutes of entering, waited 15 minutes and got one of the last spots of the day. The Activity Area also has a Master Builder on hand with various group activities and games going on. It felt a little unstructured, but was fun. There were also supposed to be Master Builders there with live Demonstrations, but we either missed them or they weren’t very prominent (I suspect the latter).

And that was it. The place really started clearing out about halfway through. We left about 45 minute or an hour early and felt like we were stretching to make it that long. As I said, I expected less “here you go, have at it” and more “look at this, here’s how this works, try this” – the Builders are fucking Rock Stars to these kids. There should have been more opportunity to see, hear and talk to them and less piles of Legos lying around for you to dick with presented as something more than Legos lying there to dick with. Set up little clinic areas. Set up a small stage and chairs and let these guys talk to groups all day. Let them give tips, answer questions and get the kids excited about the product and the possibilities. That’s where this thing really missed the boat to us.

With all of that said, I’d still give the experience a positive review. Definitely go and check it out. The price is right and you can blow a few hours surrounded by all things Lego. On the same note, I wouldn’t go again unless I knew there were major changes made. There’d really be no reason to.

Not sure how it’s possible to think of something positively, but also be able to say it was disappointing. Somehow Lego pulled it off.

At first I thought I would write a long detailed remembrance of our east coast trek, then I noticed that the weird online aversion thing that happens after extended periods away from being online is really strong this time. Like I’m finding it hard to sit in front of the computer for any period of time. Online feels really stupid right now. I go through this every time we go somewhere and I have limited online time. Couple that with the fact that my interest in parks and coasters and stuff seems to be at an all time low (and that much of my online time revolves around those things) and I just have no desire.

But I digress.

Our vacation in a nutshell:

Thursday – We drove to Hagerstown, MD. Google severely overestimates drive times both online and on the Droid navigation app. Stupid Google. Unfortunately, the weather channel doesn’t overestimate temperatures and it did apporach three digits for most of the week. Stupid weather.

Friday – Washington D.C. isn’t much fun in the heat. The Hilton Garden Inn Arlington isn’t nearly as good as the online reviews would lead you to believe. Stupid Hilton Garden Inn.

Saturday – Washington D.C. is actually kind of boring. Stupid Washington D.C. The thai food I got for dinner was simultaneously delicious and replusive. I want more.

Sunday – Ocean City was fun for all the wrong reasons. The Bay Bridge is terrifying. Stupid Bay Bridge.

Monday – Six Flags America doesn’t deserve the reputation it has. Stupid coaster enthusiasts. Second best park of this trip.

Tuesday – Kings Dominion resonates with the same ‘meh’ tone that Kings Island does for us. Intimidator 305 was a big disappointment. Stupid I305. We cut out relatively early to eat steak in Williamsburg.

Wednesday – Busch Gardens crushed it. The coaster tour was awesome except for missing the Alpengeist ERT. Stupid Alpengeist. The food at Das Festhaus was equally awesome. Nice day at a nice park.

Thursday – Long drive to Charlotte. I actually like driving vacations – good times. Wouldn’t trade the memories for the convenience of flying much of the time. 4 tickets for Toy Story 3 IMAX 3D, 4 medium drinks and 2 large popcorns retail for $99.50. It cost just $20 more for tickets and unlimited drinks at Six Flags earlier in the week. Stupid movie prices.

Friday – Carowinds fail. Cedar Fair really is light years behind other park chains in so many areas. Stupid Cedar Fair. We were gone by 4pm. (where the thermometer in the car read 110 when I started it to leave)

Saturday – Drove home. Hit ridiculous and unnecessary traffic on I-77. Stupid tourists. Highlight of the trip? Our stop in Chelyan, WV. I hate to use something as easy as the banjo joke, but I really do think I heard banjos…and I think one guy told me my mouth “sure was purty.” That and I was kidnapped and tortured 70′s horror movie style by an bizarre family of hill people. Luckily I escaped to write this blog entry. Stupid blog.

(I was going to add some photos, but two days later I still haven’t gotten around to looking at them, so no photos – maybe I’ll add them later…or to Facebook)

Just one look at this countdown traffic light and you know it’s a great idea. A progress bar on a stop light? We’re on board with that. Besides alleviating frustration, designer Damjan Stankovi? sees his idea saving energy…

(more)

In two years I put 17,180 miles on it – which is a bit lower than the standard 1000 miles per month thing that seems to get thrown about a lot.

But that includes amusement park trips. If we had used the Nissan for those drives I’d be under 12,000. (yes, we’ve driven over 5000 miles to amusement parks in the past two years…even sicker considering the only 2009 trip drives have been a handful of jaunts to Kings Island)

And this is more of a stretch, but if I also knocked off the 5 drives back home, I get a number that’s under 9,000.

Meh, whatever. I could rationalize it down to zero if I had to.

The point is, I’ve had the HHR for two years now. At this point, I’m pleased with my purchase.

(and yes, I said, “jaunts” – fuck you for noticing)

I’ve ridden the latter too many times in too many places for it to still be something I anticipate. Hell, I’ve only ridden Diamondback once since the media day marathon. It’s fun and all, but I just dont care. Same thing at Carowinds. The ride will be fun, no doubt, but I’ve floated over hill after hill (in all of its subtle variations) plenty of times. I prefer the dynamics of the Intamin rides better and the low layout looks fast and crazy.

Virginia, FTW!

We got to the hotel and met up and said a few hellos before going back to our room and deciding we were hungry. The only things open and close were a Wendy’s drive-thru, IHOP and Denny’s. We opted for Denny’s and were the only ones in the place with the exception of our 75 year-old waitress (not a guess, she told us at one point), the cook and a dishwasher/busboy. Standard Denny’s fare. Back to the room and we crashed after a long Wednesday.

On Thursday we were up bright and early. With so many places we’d be stopping by due to various wedding activities each goody bag had directions included, but I don’t like directions unless I do them myself. My years of traveling by car have honed my instinct for going the right way to an uncanny degree and my almost-supernatural ability to print directions from Google and visualize (and remember) the map and directions make me a pretty efficient traveler. I know it’s a total throwback in the day of low-cost GPS everywhere you go, but even on the cheap, I wouldn’t use it enough to justify the cost. The few times I have needed it, I’ve used the verizon Navigator thingy on my phone…and in all these years still haven’t even come close to paying for a cheap GPS unit – let alone a decent one.

With that said, I decided to live and die by the VZ Navigator app. It’d only be about $10 and it just might make our time in Florida a little more interesting. We wanted to start by swinging by their (Rebecca & Jeff’s) new house so I punched in the address and soon the phone lady (as I referred to the GPS voice the entire trip) was leading the way. She got us there problem free. But that’s when we realized they lived in a gated community and hadn’t yet informed the folks manning the gate that they’d be having guests over the course of the next few days. We were denied and couldn’t get ahold of anyone to tell the bitch at the gate to let us in, so we decided to blow some time elsewhere. I asked the phone lady where we might find a nearby mall and she led us right to the Mall at Wellington Green where we blew a little bit of time and finally got in touch with the soon-to-be-weds and got access to the community.

After a little while at their new house – which was pretty nice, but the whole gated community, subdivision thing done Florida-style really wasn’t my thing…at all – we headed back to the hotel and picked up a bag of clothes and stuff and headed to my brother-in-law’s where my kids would be spending the night. The phone lady got us to their home in Boynton Beach flawlessly and after a short visit we zipped back to the hotel and changed. It was back to Rebecca & Jeph’s for the bridal shower. Yes, I was invited being as I’ve always been one of the girls and because of my mad camera skillz. I hung with the ladies and turned on the charm (I’m quite a charmer) and the evening flew by as the ladies did the stupid things ladies at a bridal shower do and I hung back taking photos and sampling all the sweet eats…multiple times. After the crowd dispersed, the house was left with a mix of good friends both male and female. After calling it a night we headed back to the hotel and enjoyed ourselves by deciding to indulge and each take one of the double beds for the night. Yeah, we’re crazy like that. Not sure if we’re just old, been married to long or our relationship is just that damn healthy (hint: it’s the latter), but it was really nice to stretch out diagonally, get the comfy leg position going and just sleep in an overly air conditioned room.

We had to be up bright and early on Friday to retrieve the kids (it was a workday afterall) and decide that since we were getting up we might as well make the most of our day before meeting the group again for a pre-wedding barbeque at the house. I definitely wanted to swing by Boomers and Uncle Bernie’s and snag some photos (it’s all about the benjamins) since we hadn’t been there in 5 years. Actually the last time were were in the area was for another wedding in 2004 – my wife’s brother’s wedding. Yes, the same brother (and wife) who took the kids for the evening. Back in 2004 we toyed with the idea of making our triumphant return to South Beach but never did. (when my then future-wife and I first met we took off to Miami together after only knowing each other a few months and actually lived on South Beach back when it was first making a comback as a hot spot) So this time we figured we’d probably have no reason to ever come back so we might as well go do the nostalgia thing while we had the chance.

Phone lady got me to South Beach and once we got off I-95 I immediately flashed back and knew my way around like we had never left. I got us down near the convention center (our apartment was across the street) and we both proclaimed at the same time, “The Hand!”

The Hand (see last entry) is actually a Holocaust Memorial, but we always called it The Hand because it’s a big fucking hand statue. Back when I was a kid with nothing better to do but hang out and waste time on South Beach with no money or car or food or anything, I would hang out at the hand. What can I say? I mean no disrespect to those who suffered or to their memories – it is what it is. (or what it was)

There was this little pathway that was practically hidden that followed a stinky canal right from the hand to 20th street next to the convention center (right across the street from our place) so we parked right down the street from the hand and popped a few quarters in the meter. I had a total nostalgia moment – kind of like one of those old, good memories coming to life before your very eyes. I was very pleased to be visiting the hand again. My kids were like, “WTF is this?” but I smiled a little on the outside and a whole lot on the inside.

We took the path in the unbearable heat… I’ve forgotten to mention the heat up to this point. For the record it’s unbearably hot in South Florida in August around the clock, 24/7, all the time and everywhere. Florida sucks, it smells, it’s scummy, it’s weird and people beg you for money at every intersection. Florida should go away.

Anyway, we took the path to the old apartment and found the building boarded up and fenced off (complete with razor wire). It was bittersweet. The place was pretty nasty 15 years ago and I can only imagine what time had done to it, but it was ugly. My hopes of walking into the ‘courtyard’ area and to the back of the building on the left and up the stairs to apartment 12A were dashed. Still I smiled a little more inside and I know my wife did too. I risked life and limb and raised my camer over the razor wire and snapped a quick pic and we decided we needed to get the fuck out of the heat. We went back to the car and did a little tour of the area seeing what had changed and what was still the same.

After our trip down memory lane, Phone Lady took us north to Boomers where the arcade had people, but the rides outside were a ghost town. I paid $14 and change for myself and the kids to take a spin on the Hurricane. Still great airtime, but it was a lot rougher than I remember it being in 2004. I wanted to take pics and I did, but nothing great when rides are just sitting there empty. A few kids did happen to ride the Hurricane right when I was standing there along the road ready to leave so I got 3 quick shots.

We zipped over to the Swap Shop and Uncle Bernie’s with no intentions to do anything but grab some quick photos and get the hell out. The place was WAY nastier than I remember and the crowd was suspect at best. Not a soul to be found in the park, but I took some shots of the empty rides and we got the fuck out of Dodge.

We got back to the hotel and were beat after our early morning and long day in the sun. But it was time for quick showers, wardrobe changes and off to the BBQ. Again a good time with good food, but we slipped out early and crashed hard back at the hotel.

On Saturday our plan was to spend the late morning/early afternoon at the brother-in-law’s for a lunch date of sorts before swing back and getting ready for the wedding (again, I was asked to play unofficial photographer) and we wanted to show up early. Phone lady got us to the venue without a hitch (Thank you, Phone Lady.) and we made our way through the manned gate (what is with all the gated things?) with no problem.

Again I spent time with the girls as they prepared for the ceremony. I took exclusive, behind-the-scenes photos. The wedding was nice and the reception was banging (for lack of a better, more accurately descrptive term) and a good time was had by all.

Sorry for the lack of detail, but it was a wedding. You know what happens and even if you’re curious, I lack the skills to give a play-by-play of two people exchanging vows. The couple was disgustingly attractive and our little Rebecca (we’ve known her almost 13 years – since she was 19 – and you may have seen me refer to her place in our lives as my second wife and our third child in previous blog posts) is officially all grown up. *sniff*

We were up bright and early on Sunday as our flight left around 11am and we had to pack, drive, ditch the car, check in, etc. The flight was full of idiots, but the pilot did the trip in record time getting us to the gate almost a full 30 minutes ahead of schedule. AirTran is cool like that. I dozen on and off with the sounds of channel 41 – Hair Nation in my head and we were on the ground and back home before I knew it. The temperature in Ohio during the afternoon was approximately 25 degrees cooler than the ‘real feel’ temperature in West Plam at 3am the night before…did I mention that Florida blows?

For the record, the GPS thing won me over, but I still don’t see the need beyond the occasional use on the phone. I generally know where I’m going…even when I don’t.

Taken last week at the Holocaust Memorial in Miami Beach – a place I used to hang out at when I was young and dumb and amused by things that seemed creepy (1992).

We were there already for our Disney trip in February. We were supposed to be there for Jeff’s wedding In April. And now we’re using our unused plane tickets to Ft. Meyers for Jeff’s wedding to get to another wedding in West Palm Beach. (so in a weird sort of way that kinda worked out for us, I suppose)

So as I prepare to head back to The Sunshine State tomorrow, I’m left wondering why I keep getting pulled back to such a horrible place.

I’ve got nothing else. Just wanted to mention I hate Florida and for some reason, always end up there.