Earlier tonight I had the urge for cookies. I didn’t want make them and didn’t want to go to the store and buy a bunch. I just wanted a couple of cookies. The kids wanted ice cream. So I figured a quick run to McDonald’s would solve both cravings. At 10pm after being way too interested in a couple of episodes of Sotagre Wars, we through shoes and stuff on and the four of us drove over to the McDonald’s just up the road. We still have a “no food in the new car” rule in effect and figured it’d be fun to get out of the house for a few minutes and sit in McDonald’s and eat ice cream. We got our cookies and ice cream and had fun. We made our way back scanning the XM channels and finding nothing.

Here’s where I should point out that since we got the new car, the old car has been sitting out and the new car goes in the garage. Not sure why we’re not putting both in (still issues with getting comfortable with the fit, I suppose), but when we take the new car, the old car gets parked along the curb right at the end of the driveway by the mailbox. Everytime we return home and turn into the cul-de-sac, I get that quick startled rush of “Who is parked at the house?” because nothing really changes on our little street and it stands out like a sore thumb. It’s happened every single time I make the turn up our cul-de-sac since we’ve been putting the car there.

So tonight I turn in and have that moment when I spot the old car up at the end of the street near our driveway, but also notice another car at the opposite corner of our lot, closest to the turn in to the cul-de-sac. This really caught my attention because at 11pm, cars parked in front of the house are certainly out of place. But it was pretty far down – almost to the next house’s driveway. I chalked it up to company at their place parking there which is not unheard of, but is rare and super rare late at night. Needless to say, the car caught my attention and I looked at it as we approached and passed. It was empty. Which is what sort of solidified my initial guess of neighbor company.

So I continue past our house into the ‘circle’ of the cul-de-sac. Our driveway connects to the circle so essentially pulling into our driveway is like making a u-turn. Come up the street towards the circle at the “6 o’clock” position, hook a hard left and hit the driveway at the “8 o’clock” position. Our mailbox is just to the left of the driveway (when you’re facing it). It’s one of those birck column mailboxes with the actual mailbox built in. The old car gets pulled just past it. Kind of what would be the “7 o’clock” position, if you will. Make sense? Got the visual?

Anyway, I continue past our house into the circle, hit the garage opener, hook the hard left and as hit the driveway and get right next to the mailbox this girl in a black hoodie pops up and starts walking away. She was kneeling behind our mailbox/car. I’m like, “Whoa! What the fuck!?” My wife hadn’t noticed and I’m going, “There’s someone hiding there!” She’s all, “What!?”

I pulled into the garage and she jumps out of the car hitting the ‘lock’ button for the old car on her keychain making the lights flash and horn beep repeatedly as if throwing virtual punches of some kind. Next thing I hear is, “What the fuck are you doing near my car!? Get the fuck away from my car!” (my wife is so badass)

I hear a raspy female voice going, “I know! I know! I’m sorry! I’m sorry. I mean you no harm.” I hesitated a moment as I got out of the car. The kids were still in the back. I had a moment of pause, not sure whether to go out around the garage with my wife and confront the girl or to stay with the kids or what.

The girl went on, “I got into a fight with my grandmother and she called the cops.” She gave her address, which if I remember correctly, was for a house on the other side of the woods behind the house on the main road behind us. (but I’m not entirely sure if I filled in that blank correctly or not, in the confusion no one was taking notes).

She kept talking, “I climbed over the fence and I’m waiting for my ride.” Now that’s interesting because there is an old, rusty wire fence along the top back park of our property that kind of turns to barbed wire and disappears. Barely a fence, really.

While this is happening, I told the kids to get out of the car and got them inside then walked out to my wife.

At the same time, my wife with her cell phone in hand starts dialing 911. The girls goes, “Oh there it is now” and beelines for the car parked at the other end of the yard. My wife tells the 911 people someone was messing around our house but they’re leaving. She hangs up. The girl gets in the passenger side of the car and it takes off and makes a left out of the cul-de-sac.

We’re both like, “What the fuck was that?” She goes over to the car and looks for a minute then unlocks it and I say, “Go try to find them” and she’s like, “Yeah!” and off she goes.

I go back into the garage and grab a flashlight and start looking around. Shining the light into the woods, I noticed I left the shed open when doing some yardwork earlier. I hear a little movement, but nothing that couldn’t have been a critter or something. Still I wasn’t going back in there by myself to lock it up. I pulled out my cell and called my wife who had circled a few of the streets around us, but saw nothing. She was just coming back. I had her high-beam the woods where the shed sits and I went back and locked it up.

She pulled into the driveway and we grabbed flashlights and circled all around the house and yard, but saw nothing and nothing looking particularly out of the ordinary. Satisfied that whoever was there was all gone, we realized we left the kids in the house alone, closed up the garage and came in and looked around the house just to be sure.

I have to admit it was a little unnerving and pretty fucking weird. It doesn’t sound like much, but the 10 minutes of that confused rush was really crazy.

We settled down and tried piecing the weirdness together.

We all agreed the girl was in a black hoodie and my daughter said dressed all in black. My wife saw her the most and said her hair was either blond or very light brown and she had light eyes and was scared shitless at being conforonted and was shaking. He tone of voice sounded as much to me from the garage. She would have put her in her mid-20′s age wise which suprised me because from the rapsy quality of the voice, I’d have said grizzled 40-something. But I didn’t see her well. I would have called her blond from what I did see.

As for that car, I’d put the percentage at 90% to 95% that it was empty when we pulled up the road. I’m pretty damn sure someone wasn’t reclined or ducking. We both agreed that it was a small black (dark colored?) Toyota car – based solely on the emblem on the car. Neither of us thought quickly enough to get the plate number…and that pisses me off the most.

What scares me the most is that if the car was empty (and like I said 90% to 95% sure it was) and the girl got in the passenger side when it took off, who else was there and where were they as we pulled in and confronted the girl?

If I’m remembering the address she gave correctly, the fight-and-left story sort of adds up right until she hides behind our mailbox/car as we pull up our street. Why would she be hiding from cars if she was waiting for a ride? The psoition she was in would have been a perfect hiding place for anybody coming up the cul-de-sac with the sole exception of us coming home. And why would she leave a main road, cut through the small woods and wait for a ride on a small, side cul-de-sac? And why didn’t she see the car that was supposedly her ride sitting there before we pulled up? The car was clearly parked and turned off and empty when we pulled in. Why would her ‘ride’ be empty waiting for her?

I dunno. Something doesn’t add up. I generally don’t get wigged by much, but the whole thing felt “off” to us. So her I sit at 2:30am putting these thoughts down so I don’t lose them and sharing the story. I did turn all the outdoor lights on and closed up the windows and turned the air conditioner on. Don’t know why. If anything the moment you confront someone suspicious and they bail, is probably the time there’s the least chance that someone is nosing around outside.

I jokingly told my wife I think it was adisgruntled Meijer employee because earlier today I filled out one of those survey things they print on the bottom of receipts and ripped them a new one because they’ve fallen so hard. You have to add you name and address on those before you submit them. Clearly it was a disgruntled deli employee with a grudge.

I think I’ll stay up extra late tonight, just to be safe.