Please allow me to introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste.



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  • Top 8 search terms used to get to my little blog in the past year:

    1. lord gonchar
    2. uncle jesse
    3. every piss begins with pee
    4. homies
    5. i wanna do flo
    6. my body is a lockbox of diamonds
    7. brown sugar fountain
    8. usps clown commercial

    Least used:

    “I love that thing you do. You know, that thing. With your mouth…and the ice cubes…and the blowtorch and the 13 trained poodles and the autographed photo of Merle Haggard made out to someone’s Uncle Norman and the mp3 of La Bamba. That thing. I love it.”

    It doesn’t appear on the list anywhere.

    June 25th, 2011 - geek - insight - website - weird

    I’m convinced the end of the world did happen and the collective consciousness we all are sharing now is the afterlife. We’re all dead. We just don’t know it because the afterlife is, quite simply, a continuation of the consciousness we knew taking place inside a different reality.

    May 22nd, 2011 - discussion - perspective - weird - yikes

    Was watching Grown Ups the other night and realized that if this movie was made 20 years ago it’d be told from the perspective of the group of friends led by Colin Quinn’s character and Sandler’s character would be a jerk-ass Hollywood boy who gets his in the end when Quinn’s character finally gets payback for the game 30 years before where Sandler’s foot was on the line.

    Think about it. It’d be the same overlying story arc, just told from the other side. Next time you catch it, watch it with that in mind and see how it works.

    Which made me then think of a terrific marketing gimmick for a movie. Two movies simultaneously released that tell the same story but each uses the opposite main character as the protagonist.

    April 8th, 2011 - entertainment - perspective - weird

    We all know what motorboating is, right? Boobs…put your face between them…bbbbbbbbb!

    So, I’ve invented the advanced motorboat. You get two girls to stand close (shoulder-to-shoulder) so that they form cleavage with their boobs closest to each other (the girl on the left’s right boob and the girl on the right’s left boob).

    I think you see where I’m going with this.

    Motorboat away in the newly formed dual-girl cleavage. You sir, are a master.

    You’re welcome.

    April 8th, 2011 - awesome - random - ridiculous - useful - weird - yikes

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