Ever have something stupid just pop into your head? Last week, I suddenly (out of nowhere) remembered all the lame-ass mail order catalogs (or crapalogs as I’ve affectionately dubbed them) that used to come to the house when I was a kid. Catalogs with items ranging from novelty (‘Old Fart” T-Shirt’s and Trucker Hats) to the supposedly useful (those pill organizer/reminders with several compartments each labeled with a day of the week) – stuff that only the totally clueless or elderly probably buy. I remember looking through those religiously as a kid and was wondering how many are still available these days.

The only one that I could remember offhand was Harriet Carter. So I dial up the website on the ol’ look-a-tron and surfed the site for a bit. But I found it very unsatisfying. I needed the catalog in my hands, flipping the pages for the next “got-to-have” gem to catch my eye. Plus, they make for great bathroom reading. (or so I seem to remember)

Using a combination of cognitive skills and dumb luck I stumbled onto a few more – Miles Kimball and a few others. I was on a mission now.

Later I was talking to my mom and asked her for the names of some mail order catalogs and she delivered. So I sat there on the phone going from website to website requesting crapalog after crapalog like a man possessed. I must’ve ended up requesting somewhere between 20 and 30 ranging from craptastic to mildly useful.

Sadly, some seem to have changed a bit, many now offer mostly ‘seen on TV’ stuff, but a few are still as shitty as ever. Now the fun becomes the race to see who can get me a catalog first. I see it as a Tour de France of mail order catalogs.

I let you know who gets here first…

Man, I can’t wait.