Some recent purchases:

1. Razor Scooter for little man. This one has been worth it’s weight in gold. The neighbor kid that he plays with had one and he fell in love with it. He wanted one and we told him if he paid for half, we’d cover the other half. Who knew the kid had the freakin’ money already? So off we went. He wanted a Blue one. First stop was Target. Only red in stock. Second stop Toys R Us. Everything but blue in stock, but they were on sale for $10 less than the other stores had them. Third stop Wal-Mart. Red and black in stock. Last stop Meijer. Only red in Stock. So we went back to TRU and he went with the black/clear color scheme. The kid hasn’t put it down since…he literally rides it around the house.

2. LG VX3450 for my daughter. Should a 9 or 10 year old really have a cell phone? Really? I’m torn on the issue. As the standard paranoid parent I’m liking the idea of Verizon’s Chaperone service, but as a rational human being I’m not sure a pre-teen girl needs a phone. Admittedly, we brought it up first thinking ahead to summer and keeping tabs (and piece of mind) throughout the summer. It was agreed that a Migo would be had under the same 50/50 deal as the scooter along with a 50/50 split for the monthly bill. We finally decide to jump in only to find the Migo was discontinued. Basically kids today are too cool for a ‘toy’ phone and it sold as well as lemon scented shit piles. So Verizon shifted focus and the VX3450 is being marketed as child’s first phone. It has mostly the same features/limitations as the Migo did, but it’s more of a ‘real’ phone. Just ordered it for her today, so no review yet on whether or not that was a good or bad decision.

3. Qdoba for Lord and Lady Gonchar. Having sampled Chipotle and finding it adequate, we were curious about the alternative offerings. Nothing huge to report. My wife said she liked them better, I found them to pretty much be the same thing. If I wanted a 5 pound, overstuffed burrito-like hunk of eats, I’d take either.

4. Snickers Blizzard for me. Having recently discovered the Kit Kat Blizzard after ages of not hitting up a DQ, I was hooked. Turns out it was only a monthly deal and they’re now gone…presumably forever. Decided on the Snickers Blizzard in a fit of disappointment. Meh. Probably not much reason to go back to DQ unless they bring back the fucking Kit Kats.

5. Dirt Devil Easy Steamer Deluxe for the carpet. Let me just state right upfront that I hate carpet. Absolutely fucking hate it. Once I get back into a situation where I have any say at all over what’s on the floor, all carpet will be disposed of immediately. Luckily, my wife agrees. Nothing beats nice tile in entires, kitchens and baths and sweet hardwood (or laminate) everywhere else.

Anyway the carpet is starting to get a little iffy and it’s been driving me nuts. I don’t really want to spend any money at all to clean it (and cleaning your carpet destroys it, don’t listen to anyone but me…I spent a few years working with carpet and the biggest thing you can do to reduce the life of your carpet is any kind of wet or steam cleaning – it breaks down the backing and ruins the pad – always dry clean!)

So we hit up the same assortment of places we did for the scooter (minus Toys R Us) looking for a cheap, easy way to destroy the carpet, but make it look nice. Pickins were slim. We end up with the Dirt Devil thing that I wasn’t really sure about in the first place, but took anyway. I try to do a section of the carpet. A half hour later I have a section of wet, dirty carpet. It was essentially a $100 bucket of water. The carpet looks exactly like it did before…except wet. Did I mention it got things wet?

My wife is a crazy bitch when she wants to be and insists she’s taking it back. Whatever. I just don’t want the fucking thing, it’s useless. If it were my place, I’d rip up the carpet and lay some Pergo.

Those would be the last 5 non-essential purchases we made.