I’m not a coffee person. I hate coffee. I really, really dislike coffee. I just don’t get it.

With that said it should come as no surprise that I just don’t get Starbucks. I don’t understand the allure, I don’t understand the big deal about the whole coffee scene.

Maybe I should say “didn’t” rather than “don’t” …

Last night we stopped by Barnes & Noble. The kids like to check out books and I find a great (admittedly egotistical) joy in finding books that have my photos in them lying in bookstores.

Since we’re there my wife wants to hit the cafe and score a Double Chocolate Chip thingy that she always gets from Starbucks. The kids each wanted a Hot Chocolate. I passed. It’s fucking Starbucks and I don’t do coffee based drinks.

So the kids working the counter are just WAY too personable and friendly. While they’re getting the drinks, they’re making conversation and just being cooler than kids working Starbucks should be. All the while I’m just sizing things up. One of the things that caught my eye was the collection of flavors (are they syrups?) that they use. One was Cinnamon. I dig cinnamon…a lot.

So everyone gets their drinks and the kid making them asks, “Are you sure I can’t get anything for you, Sir?”

I don’t know why I didn’t give him my usual shitty attitude (probably because they were so friendly), but I asked innocently enough what they made with that cinnamon. Still at this point just being curious – not wanting anything. He named something or other and I made with a half-interested, “Oh.”

The kid followed up with, “Can I get you one?” and I passed but he persisted, “Are you sure. Come on, they’re really great” or something to that effect. So in a totally uncharacteristic moment I gave it.

The kid makes me a Cinnamon Spice Mocha and gives me a tall. (which in Starbucks-land is actually a small) To make matters worse, he gives it to me on the house.

What can I say? It was pretty fucking good. So good in fact, that I actively sought another one for myself today – making it Venti (large to us English speaking, non-coffee drinking types).

It was indeed good…again.

I think I’m hooked and the bastards at Starbucks did it drug dealer style – they gave me the first one for free knowing damn well they’d sell me a gazillion more. Arrrrgggh!

I’m now one of the mindless masses paying way too much for warm milk mixed with coffee and a squirt or two of cinnamon flavor with some whipped cream on top – at least I think that’s what it is. I don’t care if it’s boiled horse piss with snot on top…it’s good.

I suck and I hang my head in shame…but only to take another sip of my Cinnamon Spice Mocha.